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Offline and beer
After all the work, I’m happy to say that Thursday’s Offline was a fabulous success – the place was packed, 13 of the 14 DJs booked showed up and the cabaret room rocked!

As ever, there were a few hitches – Dr Jazzz’s electric piano steadfastly refused to utter a single note, the bar became five deep with impatient, thirsty drinkers and I seemed to have spent an inordinate amount of time perched atop wobbly, perilously high ladders, coaxing projectors and laptops into life.

But I finally got to DJ in the big room and managed to get gloriously drunk by the end of the night. And that’s a fine night by any standard!

Happily, the verdict from the u75 massive seemed to be that it was one of the best Offlines ever – so bring on the next one! (currently pencilled in for Jan 27th).

Today, I’m aimlessly wandering around town vainly hoping to stumble across shop displays stuffed of witty, clever and economical gifts that will thrill and woo friends and family alike.

Yeah, like fuck. All I’m seeing is the usual tacky nonsense and over-priced bits of fluff.

Truth be told, I’m utterly crap at this present buying lark. I never know what to get people, so usually end up buying a load of cack in a desperate last minute dash on Christmas Eve. And then I have to face the embarrassment of handing over my useless trinket as I receive something clever, witty and funny in exchange.

(three hours later)

Well, after an eternity aimlessly drifting around brightly lit stores pumping out cheesy ho-ho-fucking-ho Christmas songs, I ended up in Fopp Records and bought five CDs for myself.

Not a good start to the Christmas shopping, then!